May 1st 2013 *raining *19:23
What happened ? I block him from my friend's list. I dont want him to feel troubled because of giving me the cold shoulder. I know he want to do the best for the both of us-- but still its hurt when we clearly said we would still BE FRIENDS. Its so sad cause I really thought we can still be friends. I was hoping for it but it turn out this way. How you expect me to endure it ? When youre totally ignore me after your start the conversation ? Im a human being not robot. I have feelings too. Are you trying to make me jealous by making her as your 'wife' ? That girl who used to confessed to you.. Its her right ? I know it all. I know--
This is my conclusion for our problem. This is the best. I wont regret cause its my decision. I wont ever regret it. I know you will laugh when youre reading that message. And you might think Im really insane for doing that. This type of love isnt real anyway-- but still I get my hope up for it.
Ahhh ~ Im such a stupid girl.
So that is goodbye. My last calling you by ' Minato ', cause thats where we first had our first conversation.. Its with that name. :')
My last message. Its my last. My very last for you
Thank you.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Laughs, Alone, Happy ending ?
Assalamualaikum. ;)
Hye, hey !!
Its been a while right ? :3
Well, well ~ I've got so much to say this time. > u <
And I'll write it in malay maybe. Fufufufu ~
Laughs
Time belajar bukan main lagi, tersengguk-sengguk. Tapi bila dah habis kelas. Terus mata tak jadi mengantuk dah. Magic kan ? xDD
Tapi hari ni kan lepas habis kelas, aku langsung tak sentuh buku. (dekat sekolah la)
Rajin tak aku ? Boleh jadi pelajar contoh ke tak ? Ahahaha
Well, well.. Kira tu dah memang rutin harian pelajar la kan ? Kadang-kadang yang straight A's pun boleh jadi macam tu kot. xD
Memang betul la aku cakap.. Best gila petang tadi. Dah la block kelas kitorang tu kosong. And its just 5 of us there. Oh, kalau campur sekali dengan boyfriend 'princess' 6 orang la. Tapi dia pemerhati je.
Kita jadi betul-betul gila-gila tadi. Macam budak 'hilang skru' pun ada jugak. Tapi memang best la. Seriously, the best day ever. Segala stress hilang dengan ketawa je. Hebat kan pelajar-pelajar contoh ni ? Ahahaha
Alone
Nak dijadikan cerita, aku call my mom banyak kali dan perkataan yang keluar sama je iaitu '' lambat lagi ke nak sampai ? '' (ayat itu aku tujukan dekat orang yang datang ambil aku which mean abang aku ) Reply my mom senang je.. '' Tunggu la, kejap lagi sampai la tu. '' Ayat yang selalu sangat aku dengar. And '' sekejap '' tu hampir half an hour tahu tak ?! Nasib baik la aku ni baik hati. Tapi ada la jugak sumpah seranah kau dalam hati. Hahaha
Aku ni bagai nak rak tunggu tak datang datang.. Lepas satu, satu lagu yang aku humming.. Tapi tak muncul-muncul jugak. Ni dah lebih-lebih la ni.. Sejam setengah aku tunggu. Ingat apa ? Aku ni tunggul kayu ? Then, aku dicided la nak solat dulu.. Dah tu tunggu tak sampai-sampai.
Time aku masuk musolla tu terkejut la jugak, bf 'princess' dengan kawan-kawan dia ada kat dalam tu. Tapi aku dengan muka tembok nya masuk. Dalam fikiran ni macam-macam yang terlintas. Huhuhu
Tapi masa aku tengak cari sejadah dan kain sembahyang yang elok tiba-tiba si bf ni menuju ke arah suis yang ada kat sebelaha perempuan ni. Kawan-kawan dia apa lagi kalau tak dengan usikan-usikan bodoh. Tapi apa yang buat aku '' terharu '' dia ' tolong ' bukakan lampu tempat ambil wuduk. Aduh-aduh-- Dalam hati aku '' baik la sangat '' xDD hahaha
Tapi dah dikira baik la tu kan ? Sama ada kebetulan atau memang niat untuk tolong buka lampu tu hanya Allah la yang tahu. Apa-apapun terima kasih la banyak-banyak. :)
Happy ending ?
Then lepas siap aku solat. Cepat-cepat aku keluar. Bukan apa-- kot-kot abang aku dah sampai. Tapi bila aku keluar je satu pun takde. Frust gila kot ?! Then aku masuk dalam sekolah then cari public phone yang Amani guna tadi, sebab dekat situ dia letak balik duit syiling yang dia ambil tu. Aku guna la duit tu untuk call my mom lagi. Then dad aku jawab, dia cakap tunggu dia la yang datang ambil. Dia dah dekat area tu dah.
Then aku lega la sikit. At least ada yang nak datang ambil kan ?
Tapi kan.. Tak sampai 10 minit abang aku sampai.. =w= Aku yang ' pendiam ' ni ikut aje la.
Then guess what ? Aku naik kereta ' Abang Jimmy ' HAHAHAHA
Tiba-tiba jadi abang pasal ? xDD
Well , dia ni dulu selalu sangat usik aku. Tapi tu dulu la kan. :3
Sekarang dia dah ada tunang dah and dia ada seorang lagi kawan yang selalu usik aku tapi tak berapa nak ingat la.. Ye la kan-- adengan usik-mengusik ni masa aku umur 6 tahun kalau aku tak silap la. x]
Tapi dia tetap cool la dari dulu sampai sekarang tak berubah langsung dengan sikap gila-gila dia. And dia cakap.. Dia mintak maaf sebab pasal tolong dia abang aku ambil aku lewat. Dia cakap lagi abang aku tak salah dia yang salah sebab terlalu leka dengan kerja yang diaorang buat dia tak ingat. ( kerja tu dok bersihkan rumah tinggal dia je )
Hahaha.. Pape pon dah kira sweet la tu kan ? xD
At least ada jugak aku dengar perkataan maaf sebab ambil lewat. Hehehe
#unforgettablemoment ~
Hye, hey !!
Its been a while right ? :3
Well, well ~ I've got so much to say this time. > u <
And I'll write it in malay maybe. Fufufufu ~
Laughs
Time belajar bukan main lagi, tersengguk-sengguk. Tapi bila dah habis kelas. Terus mata tak jadi mengantuk dah. Magic kan ? xDD
Tapi hari ni kan lepas habis kelas, aku langsung tak sentuh buku. (dekat sekolah la)
Rajin tak aku ? Boleh jadi pelajar contoh ke tak ? Ahahaha
Well, well.. Kira tu dah memang rutin harian pelajar la kan ? Kadang-kadang yang straight A's pun boleh jadi macam tu kot. xD
Memang betul la aku cakap.. Best gila petang tadi. Dah la block kelas kitorang tu kosong. And its just 5 of us there. Oh, kalau campur sekali dengan boyfriend 'princess' 6 orang la. Tapi dia pemerhati je.
Kita jadi betul-betul gila-gila tadi. Macam budak 'hilang skru' pun ada jugak. Tapi memang best la. Seriously, the best day ever. Segala stress hilang dengan ketawa je. Hebat kan pelajar-pelajar contoh ni ? Ahahaha
Alone
Nak dijadikan cerita, aku call my mom banyak kali dan perkataan yang keluar sama je iaitu '' lambat lagi ke nak sampai ? '' (ayat itu aku tujukan dekat orang yang datang ambil aku which mean abang aku ) Reply my mom senang je.. '' Tunggu la, kejap lagi sampai la tu. '' Ayat yang selalu sangat aku dengar. And '' sekejap '' tu hampir half an hour tahu tak ?! Nasib baik la aku ni baik hati. Tapi ada la jugak sumpah seranah kau dalam hati. Hahaha
Aku ni bagai nak rak tunggu tak datang datang.. Lepas satu, satu lagu yang aku humming.. Tapi tak muncul-muncul jugak. Ni dah lebih-lebih la ni.. Sejam setengah aku tunggu. Ingat apa ? Aku ni tunggul kayu ? Then, aku dicided la nak solat dulu.. Dah tu tunggu tak sampai-sampai.
Time aku masuk musolla tu terkejut la jugak, bf 'princess' dengan kawan-kawan dia ada kat dalam tu. Tapi aku dengan muka tembok nya masuk. Dalam fikiran ni macam-macam yang terlintas. Huhuhu
Tapi masa aku tengak cari sejadah dan kain sembahyang yang elok tiba-tiba si bf ni menuju ke arah suis yang ada kat sebelaha perempuan ni. Kawan-kawan dia apa lagi kalau tak dengan usikan-usikan bodoh. Tapi apa yang buat aku '' terharu '' dia ' tolong ' bukakan lampu tempat ambil wuduk. Aduh-aduh-- Dalam hati aku '' baik la sangat '' xDD hahaha
Tapi dah dikira baik la tu kan ? Sama ada kebetulan atau memang niat untuk tolong buka lampu tu hanya Allah la yang tahu. Apa-apapun terima kasih la banyak-banyak. :)
Happy ending ?
Then lepas siap aku solat. Cepat-cepat aku keluar. Bukan apa-- kot-kot abang aku dah sampai. Tapi bila aku keluar je satu pun takde. Frust gila kot ?! Then aku masuk dalam sekolah then cari public phone yang Amani guna tadi, sebab dekat situ dia letak balik duit syiling yang dia ambil tu. Aku guna la duit tu untuk call my mom lagi. Then dad aku jawab, dia cakap tunggu dia la yang datang ambil. Dia dah dekat area tu dah.
Then aku lega la sikit. At least ada yang nak datang ambil kan ?
Tapi kan.. Tak sampai 10 minit abang aku sampai.. =w= Aku yang ' pendiam ' ni ikut aje la.
Then guess what ? Aku naik kereta ' Abang Jimmy ' HAHAHAHA
Tiba-tiba jadi abang pasal ? xDD
Well , dia ni dulu selalu sangat usik aku. Tapi tu dulu la kan. :3
Sekarang dia dah ada tunang dah and dia ada seorang lagi kawan yang selalu usik aku tapi tak berapa nak ingat la.. Ye la kan-- adengan usik-mengusik ni masa aku umur 6 tahun kalau aku tak silap la. x]
Tapi dia tetap cool la dari dulu sampai sekarang tak berubah langsung dengan sikap gila-gila dia. And dia cakap.. Dia mintak maaf sebab pasal tolong dia abang aku ambil aku lewat. Dia cakap lagi abang aku tak salah dia yang salah sebab terlalu leka dengan kerja yang diaorang buat dia tak ingat. ( kerja tu dok bersihkan rumah tinggal dia je )
Hahaha.. Pape pon dah kira sweet la tu kan ? xD
At least ada jugak aku dengar perkataan maaf sebab ambil lewat. Hehehe
#unforgettablemoment ~
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Thinking of you
Bila aku pergi tempat jauh-jauh (dalam tahun ni). Aku mesti terfikir dekat dia. Which I called Mr. Idiot. Aku tertanya-tanya.
" Kenapa aku mesti fikir tentang dia ? Why him ? Aku dah takde kaitan dengan dia lagi. "
Hati pula terdetik. " Do I still love him ? Tak, tak.. Our relation is not the real one. Cinta alam maya je kan. "
Then again.. Fikiran aku akan flashback balik detik-detik indah bersama. Cee.. Indah la sangat.
Daripada dia minta aku jadi girlfriend dia sampai our breaking up moment. Tapi bukan semua yang aku ingat. Just the sweet moment ( ? ) :)
Hairan, hairan
Kenapa rasa bersalah tiba-tiba bila aku pergi somewhere far from my house ? Is this happened because of what I did to him last year ? Leaving him in doubt, waiting for me to reply his chat ? Leaving him out without telling him where I'd go ? Letting him think that I suddently gave him a cold shoulder ? My Idiot.. There's no such thing. I left you without a word because I want to see your reaction. I never thought you would break our relation that easily. I never ever thought that would happened. :')
I thought you would worried if something bad happened to me. Tapi sangkaan aku meleset sama sekali. Dia tak fikir panjang. Dia buat kesimpulan dia sendiri, yang mengatakan aku tinggal dia dia dengan sengaja. Aku tahu semua tu salah aku. Aku sepatutnya bagi tahu dia sebelum aku pergi. Aku tahu aku tak fikir panjang. But people do mistakes right ? Im not an angel who didnt do wrong. I am not an angel. Aku hanya manusia biasa yang tak boleh predict masa depan. Aku tak boleh buat semua tu.
Sampai bila ?
Sampai bila aku nak mengharapkan yang tak pasti ? Bukan ke aku sepatutnya enjoy life aku sekarang ? Aku dah tak perlu buat benda yang aku tak nak. Dia bukan boleh bagi aku kebahagian yang aku cari. ( Duhh-- cakap macam dia la jodoh aku )
He's my nobody. My nobody, I repeat.
" Kenapa aku mesti fikir tentang dia ? Why him ? Aku dah takde kaitan dengan dia lagi. "
Hati pula terdetik. " Do I still love him ? Tak, tak.. Our relation is not the real one. Cinta alam maya je kan. "
Then again.. Fikiran aku akan flashback balik detik-detik indah bersama. Cee.. Indah la sangat.
Daripada dia minta aku jadi girlfriend dia sampai our breaking up moment. Tapi bukan semua yang aku ingat. Just the sweet moment ( ? ) :)
Hairan, hairan
Kenapa rasa bersalah tiba-tiba bila aku pergi somewhere far from my house ? Is this happened because of what I did to him last year ? Leaving him in doubt, waiting for me to reply his chat ? Leaving him out without telling him where I'd go ? Letting him think that I suddently gave him a cold shoulder ? My Idiot.. There's no such thing. I left you without a word because I want to see your reaction. I never thought you would break our relation that easily. I never ever thought that would happened. :')
I thought you would worried if something bad happened to me. Tapi sangkaan aku meleset sama sekali. Dia tak fikir panjang. Dia buat kesimpulan dia sendiri, yang mengatakan aku tinggal dia dia dengan sengaja. Aku tahu semua tu salah aku. Aku sepatutnya bagi tahu dia sebelum aku pergi. Aku tahu aku tak fikir panjang. But people do mistakes right ? Im not an angel who didnt do wrong. I am not an angel. Aku hanya manusia biasa yang tak boleh predict masa depan. Aku tak boleh buat semua tu.
Sampai bila ?
Sampai bila aku nak mengharapkan yang tak pasti ? Bukan ke aku sepatutnya enjoy life aku sekarang ? Aku dah tak perlu buat benda yang aku tak nak. Dia bukan boleh bagi aku kebahagian yang aku cari. ( Duhh-- cakap macam dia la jodoh aku )
He's my nobody. My nobody, I repeat.
Monday, March 04, 2013
Right after I make the promise
Assalamualaikum.
Dear Dark,
Right after I make that promise.. I broke it up right away--
I promise I wont shed tears for him ever again.. But when my heart say-- he's ignoring me right after he start the conversation hurts me a lot..
I cried.. Dark, I cried. Just a moment ago. I can still feel the warm of my tears.
How my breath felt like. I can still feel it all. :')
Why do he has to do that ? I didnt ask for him to start a conversation with this pitiful me. I didnt ask for it. But-- why he has to do this ?
Dark,
I cried too much.. Too much than I imagine. It feels like in one of those time when I was a little girl. When I cried for someone to understand the little me. SORROW. Just that in this pitiful girl's life, just that.
'' And it was rain in the bedroom when everything is wrong. Its rain when you here and its rain when youre gone. ''
That lyric keep spinning in my head. Yeah. Thats what he is to me now.
How sad--
I should have blocked you when you ask me to let go. I shouldnt have ask for us to still befriend. If I'd know it would turn out this way.. I wouldnt even approved your friend request... I wouldnt dare to do that.
Dark,
Why this thing happened to me ? My heart can bear this pain alone.. Its too hard. I cant holding on for too long.
I know maybe he's not the one for me. I know we arent meant to be. I know it all.
Pfft-- its not even real relationship. Im taking it too serious right ? Silly me. Im too stupid. Way way too stupid............
Dear Dark,
Right after I make that promise.. I broke it up right away--
I promise I wont shed tears for him ever again.. But when my heart say-- he's ignoring me right after he start the conversation hurts me a lot..
I cried.. Dark, I cried. Just a moment ago. I can still feel the warm of my tears.
How my breath felt like. I can still feel it all. :')
Why do he has to do that ? I didnt ask for him to start a conversation with this pitiful me. I didnt ask for it. But-- why he has to do this ?
Dark,
I cried too much.. Too much than I imagine. It feels like in one of those time when I was a little girl. When I cried for someone to understand the little me. SORROW. Just that in this pitiful girl's life, just that.
'' And it was rain in the bedroom when everything is wrong. Its rain when you here and its rain when youre gone. ''
That lyric keep spinning in my head. Yeah. Thats what he is to me now.
How sad--
I should have blocked you when you ask me to let go. I shouldnt have ask for us to still befriend. If I'd know it would turn out this way.. I wouldnt even approved your friend request... I wouldnt dare to do that.
Dark,
Why this thing happened to me ? My heart can bear this pain alone.. Its too hard. I cant holding on for too long.
I know maybe he's not the one for me. I know we arent meant to be. I know it all.
Pfft-- its not even real relationship. Im taking it too serious right ? Silly me. Im too stupid. Way way too stupid............
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. IDIOT ! :)
Dear Dark,
Assalamualaikum ~
It hasn't been too long right ? *chuckles*
Just today I get to use Mr. Lappy ~ Gomen ne.. I'd like to 'talk' to you everyday.. But it seems I'm too occupied with school and HOMEWORK of course. ==''
Dark,
Today.. It supposed to be a happy day to someone who's important to me. A day to celebrate. A day to laugh together. A day to have fun. But as for me, a day which is I'm about to cry. :')
About to cry, I repeat. *smiles sadly*
''Dear Mr. Idiot,
I wish you... A happy birthday.You're 19 years old now. Getting old, I see. I think I can move on from now. I pray, you and your family are good. Please smile. No matter what you do, face it with a smile. I'll be waiting for you... As a friend. Good luck in life. You're the best guy anyway. *chuckles* I hope everything you did will help you someday. Don't ever nagging when you couldn't do something. Instead, try your best to solve it. I know you tough. The toughest guy in my life. (not include my family) I know you brave enough. I know you're happy now. But I hope sometimes you will remember about me, too. Cause I'd love that to happen. :)
I will be there when you need someone. All you have to know is dont hesitate to come and talk to me about anything that bother you. Cause you're my friend. And I would like to help my friend as much as I can. *smiles*
I dont wanna say this words but I have to.. For this feeling I have for you, I have to erase it. And live my life.
. . . . Mr. Idiot, GOODBYE.
P/S : I LOVE YOU, MY FRIEND.
Assalamualaikum ~
It hasn't been too long right ? *chuckles*
Just today I get to use Mr. Lappy ~ Gomen ne.. I'd like to 'talk' to you everyday.. But it seems I'm too occupied with school and HOMEWORK of course. ==''
Dark,
Today.. It supposed to be a happy day to someone who's important to me. A day to celebrate. A day to laugh together. A day to have fun. But as for me, a day which is I'm about to cry. :')
About to cry, I repeat. *smiles sadly*
''Dear Mr. Idiot,
I wish you... A happy birthday.You're 19 years old now. Getting old, I see. I think I can move on from now. I pray, you and your family are good. Please smile. No matter what you do, face it with a smile. I'll be waiting for you... As a friend. Good luck in life. You're the best guy anyway. *chuckles* I hope everything you did will help you someday. Don't ever nagging when you couldn't do something. Instead, try your best to solve it. I know you tough. The toughest guy in my life. (not include my family) I know you brave enough. I know you're happy now. But I hope sometimes you will remember about me, too. Cause I'd love that to happen. :)
I will be there when you need someone. All you have to know is dont hesitate to come and talk to me about anything that bother you. Cause you're my friend. And I would like to help my friend as much as I can. *smiles*
I dont wanna say this words but I have to.. For this feeling I have for you, I have to erase it. And live my life.
. . . . Mr. Idiot, GOODBYE.
P/S : I LOVE YOU, MY FRIEND.
-Eve-
13:44, February 19th 2013''
Thats what I want to say to you. On this day. This moment. But I could do nothing. :')
My words can't seem to reach you. No one can help me to make it real. But I'd love you to read it. Really do.
Dark,
If you can reach him.. Can you say this words to him ?
'' I'm doing fine here. Even though, I cried a lot. But I'm trying to be stronger. Please support me wherever you are. Cause I need it. I have achieved one of my goals. And I promise you I will achieve others sooner. :)
When I have enough money. I will go to your country. (insya-Allah)
When I am there.. I hope I can meet you by chance. Maybe we're not going to talk because we dont know each other in real. But when that chances come.. I hope my heart beats real fast. So that I know-- that is the person I used to loved once. And still love as a friend. And when the time comes.. I want you to be happy with your own life. :) Maybe with your own family. *smiles gently*
If its really like that.. I bet that lady is really lucky to have you. To have your love, the way you cared and everything that you gave her. I'm sure of it. That lady is lucky. If by chance you will reactivate your account.. Please send me a message so that I know. :)
Haha.. Maybe you will make another account so that we dont have to make a conversation ever again. Am I right ? But I dont want to put it that way. :)
Mr. Idiot, I know.. Your girl-bestfriend didnt like me. I know it. She just act like she cared. Because of you. She really loves you, didnt she ? Pfft-- I dont care about that anyway. Didnt even care about her. But I really appreciate it. About all things that she had done.. Helps me about you, bad-mouthing me.. (maybe?) And everything. I really appreciate it. REALLY. :)
Be happy, honey. Be happy. :)
Gives everyone that warm smile of yours.
Dont worry about me. (I dont think you are.. )
I'll be fine. And I'll try not to cry ever again because of you. :)
Bye. ^^ ''
Dark.. Can you so it ? Reach him please. I really want him to know.. That I need an explanation. I need his '' goodbye '' . To move on. D':
Dark,
I'll be going now. See you around. *smiles slightly, about to burst out*
p/s : I love you... ( really want to hear that again )
Friday, February 08, 2013
Have you ever thought ?
Assalamualaikum ~ <3
Dear Dark,
HAPPY VERY BELATED NEW YEAR 2013 TO YOU !!!
Gomen ne ~ I thought so many time to say those thing to you but school took my time damn much ! =='' So.. Im sorry 'kay ?
Dark,
Today, I wanna confess something...
Lately.. They keep asking me 'Dont you want to talk to her again ?' (my EX- bestfriend)
You know what in my mind ?...
>>> DEAR GIRLS,
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. IF I GET CLOSE TO HER AGAIN, SHE MIGHT BACK STABBING ME. AGAIN ? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. IF I GET CLOSE TO HER AGAIN, I MIGHT GET REALLY REALLY CLOSE TO HER AND START TO LEAVE YOU GIRLS A SIDE ? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. WE MIGHT CANT BE LIKE WE'RE NOW BECAUSE OF HER ? <<<
That things always there in my mind. ALWAYS, I repeat. Its my choice right ? Do you really think I should befriend with her again ? Why ? Tell me WHY ? At least give me 5 REASONS for that. I dont understand why. I already forgive her and those 2 stupid girls a very long time ago. I didnt holding a grudge over them at all. Then, should Im the one who start the conversation again ? Huh.. You kidding me ? Im not that easy to deal with. I have heart, I have feeling. If you cant imagine for being in my place then KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT ! I dont need any idea or you to lecture me ! I know well HOW MYSELF WORK !
And after all these days I forgive and tried to forget about she had done.. All she do these while is bad-mouthing me behind my back ? Im asking.. Did she really DESERVE MY APOLOGY ? Did she play the protagonist all these time and Im the antagonist ? Dont make a joke. I HAVE NEVER TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID TO ME. ALL THESE TIME. AND I GET IS THAT ? YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. :)
Dont make me talk to you face-to-face. Cause I dont know what I might do. Im not so good, you see.
Dark,
Why is it so hard for them to understand me ?... What a sad life-- *chuckles* Only him know if Im not fine. Right ? Even though.. He didnt know me in real life... Even though.. He didnt know in what tone am I speaking to him. He still know me well.. Even just for awhile.. He know whenever Im sad.. Im depressed.. Im happy.. He know it all.. So why cant do the same ?
Even though I act colder to him than them.. Just why ? D':
Its sad to think.. cause they know me longer. They know me in real life. But they cant understand me like he did... Its sad--
Dark,
I know its no use in telling you all this. But I feel better when I told you. :)
Thanks for being there my 'friend' . ^^ Love you so damn much ! cx
'kay ~ till we meet again. xDD
Wassalam. ;)
p/s : His b-day coming soon. Im drawing something for him. I will show you. :)
Happy belated new year to him, too. *smiles sadly*
Dear Dark,
HAPPY VERY BELATED NEW YEAR 2013 TO YOU !!!
Gomen ne ~ I thought so many time to say those thing to you but school took my time damn much ! =='' So.. Im sorry 'kay ?
Dark,
Today, I wanna confess something...
Lately.. They keep asking me 'Dont you want to talk to her again ?' (my EX- bestfriend)
You know what in my mind ?...
>>> DEAR GIRLS,
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. IF I GET CLOSE TO HER AGAIN, SHE MIGHT BACK STABBING ME. AGAIN ? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. IF I GET CLOSE TO HER AGAIN, I MIGHT GET REALLY REALLY CLOSE TO HER AND START TO LEAVE YOU GIRLS A SIDE ? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. WE MIGHT CANT BE LIKE WE'RE NOW BECAUSE OF HER ? <<<
That things always there in my mind. ALWAYS, I repeat. Its my choice right ? Do you really think I should befriend with her again ? Why ? Tell me WHY ? At least give me 5 REASONS for that. I dont understand why. I already forgive her and those 2 stupid girls a very long time ago. I didnt holding a grudge over them at all. Then, should Im the one who start the conversation again ? Huh.. You kidding me ? Im not that easy to deal with. I have heart, I have feeling. If you cant imagine for being in my place then KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT ! I dont need any idea or you to lecture me ! I know well HOW MYSELF WORK !
And after all these days I forgive and tried to forget about she had done.. All she do these while is bad-mouthing me behind my back ? Im asking.. Did she really DESERVE MY APOLOGY ? Did she play the protagonist all these time and Im the antagonist ? Dont make a joke. I HAVE NEVER TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID TO ME. ALL THESE TIME. AND I GET IS THAT ? YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. :)
Dont make me talk to you face-to-face. Cause I dont know what I might do. Im not so good, you see.
Dark,
Why is it so hard for them to understand me ?... What a sad life-- *chuckles* Only him know if Im not fine. Right ? Even though.. He didnt know me in real life... Even though.. He didnt know in what tone am I speaking to him. He still know me well.. Even just for awhile.. He know whenever Im sad.. Im depressed.. Im happy.. He know it all.. So why cant do the same ?
Even though I act colder to him than them.. Just why ? D':
Its sad to think.. cause they know me longer. They know me in real life. But they cant understand me like he did... Its sad--
Dark,
I know its no use in telling you all this. But I feel better when I told you. :)
Thanks for being there my 'friend' . ^^ Love you so damn much ! cx
'kay ~ till we meet again. xDD
Wassalam. ;)
p/s : His b-day coming soon. Im drawing something for him. I will show you. :)
Happy belated new year to him, too. *smiles sadly*
Monday, December 31, 2012
Another Beautiful Day
Assalamualaikum. (◕‿◕✿)
Dear Dark,
Today I went to school. For my registration. I laugh a lot today. And my friends seems to know that YOU no longer mine. I didnt hear anything about they asking me about you. :)
Perhaps they already know ? *chuckles*
Ah -- by the way... Yesterday I cried again. ^^'' I read something that give me a slight heart attack. I feel stupid. Really do. She doesnt have to update her status like that, does she ? Damn-- I take things seriously. ==''
Anyway, Im in first class again. Pure science. Add math. I'll be dead right ? But I think Im closer to my dream. :) To reach what I want. To fufill my dream. To go where I want. Find my real self. I think I can make it. With HIS help. I think I could. :)
I know its not easy. But I will try my best. Its my dream. My future. If I say I can make it thats mean I can ! Yeah ! Fight ! Fight !
Even though I still have 2 years to get what I want. I will try my hardest from the start. ^^
A-Level -- not easy. If I can get there. Means Im really close to my dream ! I will make it come true. With my own will, teachers, friends and my FAMILY support. :) I know they can help me to achieve what I want. ^^
Dark,
I'll try my hardest to forget that relationship too. So pray for me ? ^^'' Those sweet memories he gave me. I'll treasure it. :) I will.
Dark,
Just now.. I fooled a girl. A law student. Said Im a A-Level medical student. Is it bad ? To do that to her ?? Seems like we're in the same country. Duh -- did I do something wrong ? (◕︿◕✿)
Dear Dark,
Today I went to school. For my registration. I laugh a lot today. And my friends seems to know that YOU no longer mine. I didnt hear anything about they asking me about you. :)
Perhaps they already know ? *chuckles*
Ah -- by the way... Yesterday I cried again. ^^'' I read something that give me a slight heart attack. I feel stupid. Really do. She doesnt have to update her status like that, does she ? Damn-- I take things seriously. ==''
Anyway, Im in first class again. Pure science. Add math. I'll be dead right ? But I think Im closer to my dream. :) To reach what I want. To fufill my dream. To go where I want. Find my real self. I think I can make it. With HIS help. I think I could. :)
I know its not easy. But I will try my best. Its my dream. My future. If I say I can make it thats mean I can ! Yeah ! Fight ! Fight !
Even though I still have 2 years to get what I want. I will try my hardest from the start. ^^
A-Level -- not easy. If I can get there. Means Im really close to my dream ! I will make it come true. With my own will, teachers, friends and my FAMILY support. :) I know they can help me to achieve what I want. ^^
Dark,
I'll try my hardest to forget that relationship too. So pray for me ? ^^'' Those sweet memories he gave me. I'll treasure it. :) I will.
Dark,
Just now.. I fooled a girl. A law student. Said Im a A-Level medical student. Is it bad ? To do that to her ?? Seems like we're in the same country. Duh -- did I do something wrong ? (◕︿◕✿)
Im sorry sis ! ><'' Its for 'another' me shake !
Dear Dark,
School going to start another 2 days.. And I have flu with me-- SO FRUSTRATING !!!
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ Geez-- But I'll be fine, I guess. *put the table back* ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)
And-- I have 'no friends' at all !!! We're not in the same class anymore !!! GAHHH !! *sob sob* Pity me -- And they all teasing me with my result from my 'not studying at all' LOL.. x'DD Its funny when they doesnt believe me when I said that. CAUSE THATS THE TRUTH. |'D
Its fine we can still study together in certain subjects though ~ <3 Fuuuu-- xD
'kay ~ Gtg now. LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS !
Assalamualaikum. (▰˘◡˘▰)
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