HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. IDIOT ! :)

Dear Dark,

Assalamualaikum ~
It hasn't been too long right ? *chuckles* 
Just today I get to use Mr. Lappy ~ Gomen ne.. I'd like to 'talk' to you everyday.. But it seems I'm too occupied with school and HOMEWORK of course. ==''

Dark, 

Today.. It supposed to be  a happy day to someone who's important to me. A day to celebrate. A day to laugh together. A day to have fun. But as for me, a day which is I'm about to cry. :')
About to cry, I repeat. *smiles sadly*

''Dear Mr. Idiot,

I wish you... A happy birthday.You're 19 years old now. Getting old, I see. I think I can move on from now. I pray, you and your family are good. Please smile. No matter what you do, face it with a smile. I'll be waiting for you... As a friend. Good luck in life. You're the best guy anyway. *chuckles*  I hope everything you did will help you someday. Don't ever nagging when you couldn't do something. Instead, try your best to solve it. I know you tough. The toughest guy in my life. (not include my family) I know you brave enough. I know you're happy now. But I hope sometimes you will remember about me, too. Cause I'd love that to happen. :)
I will be there when you need someone. All you have to know is dont hesitate to come and talk to me about anything that bother you. Cause you're my friend. And I would like to help my friend as much as I can. *smiles*
I dont wanna say this words but I have to.. For this feeling I have for you, I have to erase it. And live my life.

. . . . Mr. Idiot, GOODBYE.

P/S : I LOVE YOU, MY FRIEND.

-Eve-

13:44, February 19th 2013''

Thats what I want to say to you. On this day. This moment. But I could do nothing. :')

My words can't seem to reach you. No one can help me to make it real. But I'd love you to read it. Really do. 

Dark, 

If you can reach him.. Can you say this words to him ?

'' I'm doing fine here. Even though, I cried a lot. But I'm trying to be stronger. Please support me wherever you are. Cause I need it. I have achieved one of my goals. And I promise you I will achieve others sooner. :)

When I have enough money. I will go to your country. (insya-Allah)

When I am there.. I hope I can meet you by chance. Maybe we're not going to talk because we dont know each other in real. But when that chances come.. I hope my heart beats real fast. So that I know-- that is the person I used to loved once. And still love as a friend. And when the time comes.. I want you to be happy with your own life. :) Maybe with your own family. *smiles gently*

If its really like that.. I bet that lady is really lucky to have you. To have your love, the way you cared and everything that you gave her. I'm sure of  it. That lady is lucky. If by chance you will reactivate your account.. Please send me a message so that I know. :)

Haha.. Maybe you will make another account so that we dont have to make a conversation ever again. Am I right ? But I dont want to put it that way. :)

Mr. Idiot, I know.. Your girl-bestfriend didnt like me. I know it. She just act like she cared. Because of you. She really loves you, didnt she ? Pfft-- I dont care about that anyway. Didnt even care about her. But I really appreciate it. About all things that she had done.. Helps me about you, bad-mouthing me.. (maybe?) And everything. I really appreciate it. REALLY. :)

Be happy, honey. Be happy. :)

Gives everyone that warm smile of yours.

Dont worry about me. (I dont think you are.. )

I'll be fine. And I'll try not to cry ever again because of you. :)

Bye. ^^ ''

Dark.. Can you so it ? Reach him please. I really want him to know.. That I need an explanation. I need his '' goodbye '' . To move on. D':

Dark,

I'll be going now. See you around. *smiles slightly, about to burst out*

p/s : I love you... ( really want to hear that again )

Have you ever thought ?

Assalamualaikum ~ <3

Dear Dark,

HAPPY VERY BELATED NEW YEAR 2013 TO YOU !!!
Gomen ne ~ I thought so many time to say those thing to you but school took my time damn much ! =='' So.. Im sorry 'kay ?

Dark, 

Today, I wanna confess something...
Lately.. They keep asking me 'Dont you want to talk to her again ?' (my EX- bestfriend)
You know what in my mind ?... 

>>> DEAR GIRLS, 
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. IF I GET CLOSE TO HER AGAIN, SHE MIGHT BACK STABBING ME. AGAIN ? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. IF I GET CLOSE TO HER AGAIN, I MIGHT GET REALLY REALLY CLOSE TO HER AND START TO LEAVE YOU GIRLS A SIDE ? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT.. WE MIGHT CANT BE LIKE WE'RE NOW BECAUSE OF HER ? <<<

That things always there in my mind. ALWAYS, I repeat. Its my choice right ? Do you really think I should befriend with her again ? Why ? Tell me WHY ? At least give me 5 REASONS for that. I dont understand why. I already forgive her and those 2 stupid girls a very long time ago. I didnt holding a grudge over them at all. Then, should Im the one who start the conversation again ? Huh.. You kidding me ? Im not that easy to deal with. I have heart, I have feeling. If you cant imagine for being in my place then KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT ! I dont need any idea or you to lecture me ! I know well HOW MYSELF WORK ! 
And after all these days I forgive and tried to forget about she had done.. All she do these while is bad-mouthing me behind my back ? Im asking.. Did she really DESERVE MY APOLOGY ? Did she play the protagonist all these time and Im the antagonist ? Dont make a joke. I HAVE NEVER TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID TO ME. ALL THESE TIME. AND I GET IS THAT ? YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. :) 
Dont make me talk to you face-to-face. Cause I dont know what I might do. Im not so good, you see. 

Dark, 

Why is it so hard for them to understand me ?... What a sad life-- *chuckles* Only him know if Im not fine. Right ? Even though.. He didnt know me in real life... Even though.. He didnt know in what tone am I speaking to him. He still know me well.. Even just for awhile.. He know whenever Im sad.. Im depressed.. Im happy.. He know it all.. So why cant do the same ? 
Even though I act colder to him than them.. Just why ? D':
Its sad to think.. cause they know me longer. They know me in real life. But they cant understand me like he did... Its sad--

Dark,

I know its no use in telling you all this. But I feel better when I told you. :)
Thanks for being there my 'friend' . ^^ Love you so damn much ! cx
'kay ~ till we meet again. xDD
Wassalam. ;)




p/s : His b-day coming soon. Im drawing something for him. I will show you. :)
Happy belated new year to him, too. *smiles sadly*