Another Beautiful Day

Assalamualaikum. (◕‿◕✿) 

Dear Dark,

Today I went to school. For my registration. I laugh a lot today. And my friends seems to know that YOU no longer mine. I didnt hear anything about they asking me about you. :)
Perhaps they already know ? *chuckles*
Ah -- by the way... Yesterday I cried again. ^^'' I read something that give me a slight heart attack. I feel stupid. Really do. She doesnt have to update her status like that, does she ? Damn-- I take things seriously. ==''

Anyway, Im in first class again. Pure science. Add math. I'll be dead right ? But I think Im closer to my dream. :) To reach what I want. To fufill my dream. To go where I want. Find my real self. I think I can make it. With HIS help. I think I could. :)
I know its not easy. But I will try my best. Its my dream. My future. If I say I can make it thats mean I can ! Yeah ! Fight ! Fight !

Even though I still have 2 years to get what I want. I will try my hardest from the start. ^^
A-Level -- not easy. If I can get there. Means Im  really close to my dream ! I will make it come true. With my own will, teachers, friends and my FAMILY support. :) I know they can help me to achieve what I want. ^^

Dark,

I'll try my hardest to forget that relationship too. So pray for me ? ^^'' Those sweet memories he gave me. I'll treasure it. :) I will.

Dark,

Just now.. I fooled a girl. A law student. Said Im a A-Level medical student. Is it bad ? To do that to her ?? Seems like we're in the same country. Duh -- did I do something wrong ? (◕︿◕✿)

Im sorry sis ! ><''  Its for 'another' me shake ! 

Dear Dark, 

School going to start another 2 days.. And I have flu with me-- SO FRUSTRATING !!! 

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻   Geez-- But I'll be fine, I guess. *put the table back* ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) 

And-- I have 'no friends' at all !!! We're not in the same class anymore !!! GAHHH !! *sob sob* Pity me -- And they all teasing me with my result from my 'not studying at all' LOL.. x'DD Its funny when they doesnt believe me when I said that. CAUSE THATS THE TRUTH. |'D 

Its fine we can still study together in certain subjects though ~ <3 Fuuuu-- xD

'kay ~ Gtg now. LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS !

Assalamualaikum. (▰˘◡˘▰)  

Cant 'see' you anymore ?

Dear Dark,

Today.. I receive my long awaited result. Im happy that it is my target. IM REALLY GRATEFUL. Even though I cant be among the best. But Im glad cause I can stand on my own feet. Without cheating or whatsoever. ^^

Too bad for me. I cant seems to fulfill my promise I make to him. To tell him what my result is. *sigh*  Even though he the one who give me most of the luck. Keep cheering me up. Said I will get what I want. Now ? How am I supposed to thanked you ? I never done anything to you beside hurting you. I cant evern cheer you up. I cant be there with you when you needed me the most. Useless am I ? ^^'' Maybe we cant talk anymore. But I wish we can. Someday. For sure. I will never forget you. EVER. You teach me a lot. *chuckles* I really owe you. I wish I can meet you face-to-face one day. And I will let you know how much I owe you. But can we meet someday ? Sounds impossible for the 'shy' me. PFFT---

I hope you can be strong. To faced your family problems. I hope you can make it. And come back to be my friends. I hope for that. :) I love you as my friends. I love as my lover. I love as my family. 

Dark, 

When I manage to make the first star (origami) I wrote his name on it. I made it my lucky charm. Its funny. Cause first time I can make it. Im so happy. And the only thing on my mind is him. I take a good care of it. When Im in the exams. I took the star with me. Every single day. It make me believe I can make it. Its feel like youre rooting for me all the time. It feels like youre the watching me. Waiting beside me. And today-- When I want to get my result I take my star with me. I holds it in my hand. It give me hope that it will be okay. And yeah. Everything is fine. :) Im glad youre 'there' for me. Accompany me till the end. Youre the best thing I ever know. Youre important to me. Youre also special in my heart. I really hope we're in the same country. Cause it can make us exchange phone number. Will be able to hear your voice. Maybe see your face ? xD

Anything happened I hope you'll be fine. Cause I know youre the strongest person I ever known. I will keep you in my mind and heart. :)  

I love you. I love you and I love you. ^^  And I will missed you so fucking damn much ! 


P/S : I'll be waiting for your come back. :)

MY CONFESSION

Dear Dark,

Yesterday.. When I realised-- he deactivate his account. (current one) Now.. How am I supposed to full filled my promises ? I thought tomorrow I can tell him my long awaited result. (PMR) I wanna tell him what my result is. Because he accompany me every single night during my night classes. He make me feel at ease saying I can make it well. Now-- What am I supposed to do ? I cant tell him. Facebook the only way I can talk to him. I have no other way. What am I supposed to do ? He reply to my message yesterday. But I didnt think it would be the last one. I even act cold toward him. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ???

Dark,

I cried last night. Sadly to say. Again. I. Burst. Into. Tears. I thought I will be fine. But Im not fine at all. I really fall in love with him. And I thought I couldnt fall in love again after 'that guy'. But he opened up my heart. He make me break the wall around me. I owe him a lot !  Then why did he left just like that ? Breaking his own promises. I know this is just social-network relationship but-- I do take it seriously. Way way too serious. I need you. Even though youre not mine. I need you the most right now. I know I hurt you a lot. But thats me being childish. I love you in my own selfish way. Why cant you see ? :'c
I want you so badly. When you confessed I was damn happy. So happy and I cant think about anything at all. Hopeless. Thats what I am right now.  I missed you called me 'Eve'. No one gonna called me with that name again-- No one. No one can get me like you did. No one can make me laugh, smile, sad, annoyed, flustered-- Like you did. No one. 
Gawd-- Now I want to cry again. More importantly, you make me cry more than 'that guy'  can make me. Thats show how much I cared. I missed you. I miss you. I'll miss you. There's no way I can get rid of this feeling. Why cant you see right through me right now ? That you the one who I need the most ? I need you. I need you. I NEED YOU !

I know your break up reason-- Not your real reason. I wanna know the truth. Why wont you tell me the truth ? I.. I need to know them. From the start-- You didnt even cared to tell me something important to you. That passed away relative. That bad cough of yours. That exam you will faced on the same week as mine. Your work. 
Yeah. I know them now at least. But-- Im tired of being last to know. Am I that important to you before ? Do you really care ? You always. Always leave without a sign during our conversation. You always make me wait. Leave me hanging up-- thinking what possible. You make your own conclusion whenever we fight. Youre impatient. Youre forceful sometimes. You being cold toward me. You way way too flirty with those girls and make me jealous. But I never told you.. I did. Your winking emotion [ ;) ] I like the most. Your naughty thought. Your dare. You being serious. You being childish. The mature you. Your single ' Hey ' make me smiling. (sometimes I laughing alone like an idiot) YOUR EVERYTHING. I LOVE THEM ALL. ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM. I dont care to wait for you. Because I know you will come to me. Just like yesterday. I know you will came to me. But I woke up way too late. I regret it. I dont care you make me sad. Because I know you will make me smile soon after that. I love you. I really do. I really do---

Im scared to lose something precious. I told you. Now I lose my precious thing. What am I supposed to do ? Its hard for me. Too hard. No one can make me smile right now. Besides, you. No one--  Ah-- ! Just if you can read this post of mine. I bet you will understand why I needed you the most...

I am cold toward you because if I dont I will easily falling even harder for you. I have to faced this problem alone. I cant involve anyone with this. :)
I have to be strong. But still I wont give up on US. Even there's no ''us'' anymore.




P/S : I still love you. And I will always do.

Broken Hearted---??

Dear Dark,

It's been a damn long time doesnt it???
Dont you miss me damn much~? Hhe~  I miss you so. ^^
So today.. After a very long time I confessed something to you. I will make a confession about someone. Yeah.. Someone. :)
Precious enough for me to write about him here. But I know he will never read it though !  *chuckles*  Confident enough right?  xD



Dear Mr. Vampy,

I cant let go so easily.. Im drowning cant you see? I've so much fun with you..so much fun-- youre cruel.. After saying Im not going to lose you.. You leave me out. Its hurt. Too cruel-- -smiles- I know youre not going to read this thats why i sent it here cause I dont want you to feel sorry for me. I love you-- even though its not the same as my love for him.. I still love you though. You can make my day. You can make me forgot bout him.. Even just for a while. Im glad I've met you. ^^ but still youre too cruel.. :) I know youre still lonely and bored whenever Im around. Im not fun at all-- I know. Actually, Im pretty cold with everyone. Even my friends. No one can easily break the ice between us. But you did a little~! At least. ^^

Okay ! Confession time end here ! ^^
I will move on. And try my hardest to let go. :)
Thank you.

p/s : If you ever read this.. Just pretend you dont. But I dont think you will read though~
Byebee.. ^^

One more thing-- my nonchalant.. Only you, him  and my people who close enough know it. ^^ and there's always a reason why.. every time I become like that.

Dear Dark, 

Hohoho~  When I have times-- I will share something more interesting with you ! Hehee~  You will wait for me right?? Nah-- Youre my always understanding 'friend'. ^^

Oh yeah ! This morning I throw up. And caught a damn cold. My head all dizzy and feels damn heavy~! ==''  Geez~ why should I write it?? No one cares, right? Ahahaha~

Now, now~ I take my leave. I will come again, okay? ^^  Love you both. :)