Right after I make the promise

Assalamualaikum.

Dear Dark,

Right after I make that promise.. I broke it up right away--
I promise I wont shed tears for him ever again.. But when my heart say-- he's ignoring me right after he start the conversation hurts me a lot..
I cried.. Dark, I cried. Just a moment ago. I can still feel the warm of my tears.
How my breath felt like. I can still feel it all. :')

Why do he has to do that ? I didnt ask for him to start a conversation with this pitiful me. I didnt ask for it. But-- why he has to do this ? 

Dark,

I cried too much.. Too much than I imagine. It feels like in one of those time when I was a little girl. When I cried for someone to understand the little me. SORROW. Just that in this pitiful girl's life, just that. 

'' And it was rain in the bedroom when everything is wrong. Its rain when you here and its rain when youre gone. '' 

That lyric keep spinning in my head. Yeah. Thats what he is to me now.
How sad-- 

I should have blocked you when you ask me to let go. I shouldnt have ask for us to still befriend. If I'd know it would turn out this way.. I wouldnt even approved your friend request... I wouldnt dare to do that. 

Dark, 

Why this thing happened to me ? My heart can bear this pain alone.. Its too hard. I cant holding on for too long. 

I know maybe he's not the one for me. I know we arent meant to be. I know it all.
Pfft-- its not even real relationship. Im taking it too serious right ? Silly me. Im too stupid. Way way too stupid............